Last week I wrote about my ego and it appears now to have been the first step on the path to learning a hard lesson. Like praying for patience and shortly thereafter finding yourself in situations that try your patience to the nth degree!! If you’ve been there then you’ll understand how last week when I questioned what purpose our ego really serves that I would be taught ‘the hard way’.
Where to start? Do you ever have a day when the first thought that pops into your consciousness in the morning is that you did something wrong? I mean, you haven’t even opened your eyes and the mean voice in your head (ego!) has you convinced you’re going to have to be on the defensive today and justify why you should be allowed to breathe you unworthy piece of crap.
I might have exaggerated a bit at the end there but this has been a hard lesson remember.
Because I practice guarding my thoughts, it finally occurred to me that morning that I could pick different thoughts and change the way I was feeling, which I did and went on about my day. Well….it’s now day 8 and I’ve had so much practice I feel like I’ve been in boot camp! Ego is a little word but it will kick your ass!
Why? Because, according to A Course in Miracles, “The ego is quite literally a fearful thought.”
During boot camp, I went on a mission to once and for all find an explanation for myself to the mystery of the ego. We all have one, but like our adenoids, what purpose does it serve when we know we can be healthy without it?
I have built up a collection of books on spirituality so I went looking for the authors’ thoughts and opinions on the ego. I’m the kind of girl who practices ‘take what you like and leave the rest’ (which I hope you will do with everything you see on this website). The explanation I found that resonated most with me came from A Course in Miracles. A student of this work I am not. A fan of Marianne Williamson who is I am.
The Course puts it this way: “The ego has a purpose, just as the Holy Spirit has. The ego’s purpose is fear, because only the fearful can be egotistic. The ego’s logic is as impeccable as that of the Holy Spirit, because your mind has the means at its disposal to side with Heaven or earth, as it elects.”
In my words: my ego is a function of my mind that believes that it is ‘me’ and that it’s bigger and better than the real me (the tradeoff that comes with the gift of free will). Fear to my ego is like air to my body; it cannot exist without it. My bigger better ego causes me to try to control other people and situations so I’ll be happy rather than to look inward where I would find love and peace. So, ego’s purpose (for me) is to be the eternal reminder that I have a choice in every action, word and thought. I have choices and if I forget I’m going to get my a** kicked!
Thank you for giving this some thought! You will benefit, your loved ones will benefit and so will the planet!